watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
