WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
