I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I party with great urgency now.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
