He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
