Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
