you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Then you guys just all showered together...?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
