I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
