How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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