coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
He better not be in your backpack
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
