As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I want to be your penis for a week.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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