I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
