Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Randomize
