he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
