meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
