She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
