i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
