You can't motorboat a personality
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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