It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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