So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
