Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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