I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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