Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
this will be a night to untag.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
