So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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