What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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