It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
