On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
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