I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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