so let's talk penis.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
