I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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