if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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