I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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