he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
