She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
