i barfeds in our rink
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
