with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
drinking out of a sandbucket again
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
