apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
