So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
