I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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