I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
