The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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