i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
