im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Randomize
