Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
