My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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