I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
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