I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
