You're my little dorito
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize
