I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
