At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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