Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
